What to say in a Halloween card​

Grab your books of shadows and get ready to learn what to write in a Halloween card like a sorcerer! Just grab your wand (pen) and imagination, and you’ll be off and flying before you know it.

Bitch-crafting 101

Start by choosing a Halloween card first, then use the imagery or pre-existing sentiment to summon your message. Take this funny Halloween card for example; the wording’s already playful so you don’t really need to add much more, though a simple “Happy Halloween, bitch!” would give this friendship card the proper sendoff.

Batshit crazy wordplay

Where cheeky meets bat butt cheeks, say that fast 3 times before proceeding to the next step, then get your batshit crazy on with this bat Halloween card! Just keep the existing text in mind when debating whether to write a message and/or sign your name. In that, when there’s pre-existing wordplay, a simple signature will do.

Silence is bloodcurdling loud

As you sit and ponder what to write, consider sitting in silence, unless you’re one of those prodigies that can chew gum and walk at the same time. External distractions, such as music or TV, may hinder your ability to concentrate. "Put the fucking lotion in the basket!” and practice writing to this nod to the Silence of the Lambs greeting card.

Lastly, there are no rules and in many instances, less is truly more.

Happy writing and greeting card shopping, too!