Sometimes, there are no perfect words to make things better—but that’s where this card comes in. This isn’t just a sympathy card; it’s a one-time-use, non-refundable, possibly sarcastic Ear Whispering Pass. With this pass, the recipient (your lucky friend or love one) can redeem one session to vent, rant, cry, or overshare with you—the issuer.

Of course, you reserve the right to offer questionable advice, nod dramatically, or just say, “Yeah, that sucks.” Earplugs are strictly prohibited, so they’re stuck listening to whatever wisdom (or nonsense) you have to offer.

Once the session is complete, the pass must be shredded immediately—or the card will self-destruct. (Okay, maybe not, but wouldn’t that be cool?)

So, if you’re looking for a way to say, “I’m here for you” without the usual clichés, this card does the job with a touch of humor. Because let’s be honest—sometimes, laughter (and a good vent session) is the best medicine.

For best results, bring snacks and the recipient’s favorite beverage of choice.