Flowers are dead 
Roses have thorns
I fucking curse
The day you were born
 
MAYDAY! Fuck, we just couldn’t help ourselves, nor should you. Well, cursing the day someone was born is a little harsh and not recommended, unlike this birthday card for your estranged mother, ex-girlfriend, ex-wife, sister or frenemy alike. Life’s too short to hold back, especially if they’ve done you dirty.
 
So, if you’re faced with having to mourn someone while they’re still alive, this birthday card’s the perfect way to get your message across. Beautifully dead on the out, savagely sentimental on the in, kill them with brutal honesty, and this estrangement card of course. Unless they’re already dead on the inside which is likely the case, hence why you’ve estranged yourself from them to begin with, if we had to guess!
 
Can you tell we’ve been through way too much shit and then some ourselves over here? Way too much shit, that’s why we don’t take any shit and neither should you, especially if they’re not even remorseful for their actions. Those kinds of people are the worst!