Flowers are dead
Roses have thorns
I fucking curse
The day you were born
 
MAYDAY! Fuck, we just couldn’t help ourselves—and for birthdays and Mother’s Day alike, neither should you. Sure, cursing the day someone was born may be a little extreme (and not technically recommended), but when the relationship is beyond repair, subtleity feels wildly overrated. Whether it’s for an estranged mother, toxic relative, ex-anything or a frenemy who earned their title, this card says what flowers and generic wishes never could.
 
If you’re stuck honoring someone you’d rather forget, this card delivers the message with ruthless precision. Deadly on the outside, savagely sincere on the inside—it’s the perfect fit for birthdays, Mother’s Day or any occasion where fake sentiment just isn’t on the menu. Because sometimes the best gift is brutal honesty wrapped in dark humor.
 
And yes, we’ve clearly been through far too much shit ourselves. That’s exactly why we don’t take any—and neither should you. Especially from people who’ve caused damage and never looked back. Those kinds of people are the worst. So whether it’s their birthday or Mother’s Day, skip the forced gratitude and send something that actually reflects the occasion: unforgettable, unfiltered and just the right amount of unhinged.